Once there was a group of professors sitting in a bar debating what was the fastest thing in the universe.

The Phsycology Proffesor said he believe a "thought" was the fastest thing because it just occurs instantly. The Biomechanics Professor said he believed a "blink" was the fastest thing because you cant even see when you blink. The Physics Proffessor said he believe "light" was the fastest thing, and proceded to demonstrate by turning a light bulb on the other side of the room on and off while the others were amazed by the speed at which the light travelled across the room.

A drunk, who had over heard there conversation, walked up to the three proffesors and told them that saidly the were mistaken. In fact the fastest thing in the universe is "diarrea".

The three Proffessors were flabergasted and demanded to know how diarea could possibly be the fastest thing in the universe.

The drunk camly finished his beer the said "we the other night I woke up with a terrible case of diarrea, and before I could 'think', 'blink' or turn the light on there was shit every were.

"