Subject: WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN "I'm going fishing." Really means...

"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.

" "It's a guy thing." Really means....

"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." "Can I help with dinner?" Really means..."Why isn't it already on the table?" "Uh huh, " "Sure, honey, " or "Yes, dear." Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. "It would take too long to explain." Really means.."I have no idea how it works. "We're going to be late.

" Really means..."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac." "I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind." Really means....

"I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.

""Take a break, honey, you're working too hard.

" Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

" "That's interesting, dear." Really means....

"Are you still talking?" "It's a really good movie." Really means....

"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women.

" "That's women's work." Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.

" "You know how bad my memory is." Really means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.

" Really means... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------