You gotta love some of these.. 1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... Inside card - I've changed my mind. 2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... Inside card - I never believed in Hell until I met you. 3.

As the days go by, I think how lucky I am... Inside card - That you're not here to ruin it for me. 4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go.... Inside card - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again. 5. Someday I hope to marry...

Inside card - Someone other than you. 6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...

Inside card - Almost lifelike! 7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...

Inside card - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time...

Inside card - What do you say we stop? 9. I'm so miserable without you... Inside card - It's almost like you're still here 10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....

Inside card - Did you ever find out who the father was? 11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... Inside card - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often. 12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...

Inside card - So we're having you put to sleep. 13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! Available only in Kentucky, Tennessee, West Virginia, Alabama, and Arkansas 14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...

Inside card - What was I thinking? 15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...

Inside card - Too bad no one likes your husband.